Imperfectly Perfect

She stood in one corner of the bus holding the bar above her head tightly. The roads always provided her an adventurous ride to office. Just then the bus halted causing her to bump into the man standing in front of her.

"I am sorry", she spoke softly.

The man startled by the mesmerizing voice turned his head to find a veiled woman with beautiful kohled eyes. Her eyes spoke volumes. He cursed the bad weather of the city and the pollution mentally. Had the weather been good he would have got a glimpse of her beautiful face. He kept staring at her causing her great discomfort. She coughed gently to awaken him from his slumber and bring him back to reality.

"Umm yes yes it is okay. These roads can make any one to a disco dance in bus."

She averted her gaze.

"Shit my sense of humour badly failed", he ridiculed his own self.

On the next stop she got down.

It had been 15 days since they both travelled together on the same route but none of them spoke to each other. He did not want to be misunderstood for some roadside Romeo but was deeply intrigued by the girl. And then one fine day he got a seat next to her. The dark clouds covering the sky, the winds gaining momentum and the sounds of thunder. With every gush of wind he would expectantly look at her wishing her veil to fly and give him a glimpse of how she looked but to his utter bad luck the veil was tight enough to withstand the force of wind.

"The weather is really nice", he stammered as he spoke.

"Yes it is", she replied to his amazement.

"The wind feels like velvet on the face. Wouldn't you like to feel that", he tried his luck yet again.

"Ahaaan bad idea I guess."

This was their first conversation. Over a period of a month they became good enough acquaintances. They'd bid each other good morning and goodbyes. He came to know that her name was Amrita and she worked for an MNC. She came to know that his name was Pritesh and he worked in the bank. They'd occasionally talk about their work and families. They had exchanged their numbers. Late night whatsapping and phone calls. She was not on Facebook else he would have sent her a request as well. Pritesh before he could understand was falling in love. One fine day he mustered the courage to ask her out for a cup of coffee. She denied.

Back at her home she sat on her bed thinking about him. After so many years she felt so alive. The daily bus rides that she cursed were now the ones she awaited. She liked his honesty. But then what about her truth? How long could she have hidden that? Would he love her even after knowing that? She was spinning her dreams on the bedrock of lies. She went to the mirror in her room whose gaze she avoided every morning. She ran her fingers across her cheek and then to her lips. She pressed her lips together. Memories of that unfateful day haunted her yet again.

3 Years ago

She was walking down the road coming back from college. It was the last day of her college. A beautiful girl was walking ahead of her. Oblivious to the impending doom she fastened her pace to catch the glimpse of that girl. And suddenly she felt ice cold water on her hand and face and screams. That was followed by a burning sensation. She couldn't decipher what happened.

She woke up in the hospital.

*Two girls face acid attacks. The attackers absconding.*

She was stunned. She was angry at God because this was unfair. She wasn't in any relationship, neither did any guy ever approach her. It was later that she came to know that the real victim was the girl next to her who couldn't survive the attack. She was scathed because she was next to her. She cursed her luck endlessly. She cursed that moment when her curiosity got better of her. Had she kept walking at her own pace she could have been saved. Only if.

She spent days, weeks and months regretting her decisions. She stared at the mirror and then break into sobs. She was a decent looking girl but that accident took away everything. Her face looked like a mass of flesh, her lips disfigured. She underwent 13 surgeries for them to perform normally and look okay but still it was far from normal. For months she did not step out fearing what reaction would she get. She was tired of the endless sympathies people gave. She required none. With time she felt more and more repressed and agitated sitting back at home. Her face now no none made a difference. She understood that if she could get used to it then obviously people would also get that. She gathered the fragments of her life and reformed them molding them back into how she envisioned them an year ago. She applied for a job. Many at times kids would point at her and shout to their mothers "mom ghost". But then she knew they were naive. She would go to them and tell them that she wasn't a ghost. Her friendly demeanor won everyone's heart. She veiled herself to prevent her skin from infection and also to prevent getting sympathy and weird glances all the time.

But then after meeting Pritesh she again started contemplating if she was good enough. She again started wishing for a flawless skin. This is what love does to you. It makes you insecure, makes you wonder if you are good enough. Is this what love is? What if he rejects her? What if? She had nothing to lose except the a guy who couldn't look past her looks. It was a wild bet but then it was one she found worth playing for.

She boarded the bus.

“Well would you like to go for a coffee”, she asked nervously.

Pritesh finally felt elated.

“Yes sure.”

“Pritesh before anything else I guess let’s face each other.”

Pritesh waited with baited breath. Finally the girl he dreamt of day and night would unveil herself. She gently took off her scarf.

All his aspirations fell down like a castle made of playing cards. He was crestfallen. Her slightly charred lip, uneven complexion gave him goosebumps. Suddenly the alluring princess did not appear that attractive to him. He was in a fix how to tell her that though he liked her still he wasn’t able to accept her. His silence said it all. She stared at her phone and faked a call.

“I am sorry. I have to leave.”

“Umm okay see you tomorrow.”

He sat there in silence, shocked and completely dejected.

“She was supposed to be my dream girl. Well but okay fine.”

“Finding love is pretty difficult and with a face like mine a little more difficult”, she smiled.

As expected she never saw Pritesh again in the same bus. Her eyes searched for him continuously. She also lost a friend. She did not harbor any hatred towards him. She was pragmatic enough to understand that he was also a human being. He was not some saint. It would be stupid to expect him to love her unconditionally. It was not a Hindi movie going on anyways. Days passed and all her anxiety was put to rest. Her usual regime continued.

One fine evening she was sitting in her office when she received a note

Amrita

Not that my liking for you was fake, not that I am a beauty obsessed person. Call me a coward but I am not that brave to accept you and make a life with you. You are an exceptionally nice girl and I am not the one for you. I wrote this because I did not want you to think that there is some fault in you. You are perfect I am not. You will get a better guy. You deserve better. All the best for life. 

Your friend for life

Pritesh

She smiled and kept the note in her drawer. She knew he was right.