She looked at the bare wall of the room where once a big collage of her family photographs hung. She went ahead and felt the holes in the wall which she had so enthusiastically made years ago so that she could have brightened the room with her masterpiece of creativity. She smiled reminiscing how she felt like Thor holding that heavy hammer.
She felt an inexplainable urge to cry. Biting her lower lip she turned away and walked out of her room.Yes it was her room.
"Loneliness is something you can never ever get used to. It is that chronic disease that spreads its' roots in your body only to be discovered when chances of survival go grim."
Her father believed that life was a gift that unravels only to give you surprises.
" Had he been here in my place would he have felt the same", she wondered.
The last she saw her mother and him was at the dining area where she saw them holding hands and making elaborate plans about their late evening stroll by the sea. She felt happy coming to Tamil Nadu for her holidays. Her brother was smartening himself up in order to flirt around with the girls on the beach.
She smiled. She wanted to punch him hard once again and run down the staircase only to hide in the store room and yell out to him to catch her. She knew now there will be no one chasing her.
Nobody returned who left for the beach that evening. All she remembered was reading a book in the hotel room and then water and finally waking up in the hospital where she continuously faded in and out of consciousness for around a week. Everything that happened next was a blurred memory.
Barely a month had passed when she received a notice from the Government that it was providing compensation to the families of people who died during the Tsunami.
She did not want a compensation. Perhaps nobody can actually compensate for the loss each survivor was suffering from. If only God could release all souls and get them back to life. If only.
She wondered if they can compensate for the mother's milk a new born is craving for, or for the tears of a newly wed girl who now is a widow or for the ailing parents who lost their kids.
The money can only fill their bank accounts and that too partially but the void inside them, would money be able to fill that as well?
She dragged herself to the kitchen and nostalgia swept over her with full force. All the delicacies that she cooked or burnt, the taste of the food that her mother made with so much love and the memories of her family enjoying dinner came in front of her eyes. She could even smell the wafting aroma of her favorite muffins in the kitchen. Within moments there were just three walls, empty cabinets and even a more empty heart.
Every nook and corner of this house had been used to their frivolous laughter and endless joys. This house had seen her grow from a diaper clad baby to a young individual. It saw her failing, falling and yet standing up again to reach heights. It saw her family's journey from poverty to extreme riches. Every beautiful memory in her heart was attached to some place in her house. It had witnessed the most spectaular moments of her life. The silence today was eating her up. The bricks were pleading her not to leave. Sadness was weighing her down. How badly she wanted to hear her mother shout at her for not eating her food on time, she missed how her father would give her secret high fives when they teamed up for some mischieve and above all she wanted to tell her brother how much of a necessary nuisance he was to her life.
"This house has always been radiating with joy and it will continue to do so", she was firm and determined.
"It will now be a home."
She lay flat on the ground of her terrace where her family enjoyed late night strolls after dinner. The starless sky was dark yet her heart felt darker. Her heart full of despair. People often told her that it was a miracle that she survived, a blessing of God. If only they knew what a curse it was to live life without those who taught her what life is.
She felt like that little duckling who had been separated from her family. Hardly had she learnt how to swim and an ocean was left to cross.
A tear slipped from her eye, and another and another. She cried for the loss of her family, for the loss of so many innocent lives, the loneliness and for the loss of a reason to live.
The sun was about to rise. She sat down and wiped her tears away. It was a new morning. The pain was no less yet the law of nature was reducing the grief. Her mind continued to be in the state of endless thoughts.
Suddenly she was struck by hope. A hope that maybe her family made it out of the disaster. Maybe they are struggling for life somewhere. How would she ever know sitting there and crying. She decided to get moving and search for them and help others to search for their families.
She decided she'll keep searching till she finds them or the purpose of her life.
Hours later she handed over the keys of the house to the owner of an orphanage.
She smiled as she said, "Please let the house be full of joy. It is not used to sadness."
She felt an inexplainable urge to cry. Biting her lower lip she turned away and walked out of her room.Yes it was her room.
"Loneliness is something you can never ever get used to. It is that chronic disease that spreads its' roots in your body only to be discovered when chances of survival go grim."
Her father believed that life was a gift that unravels only to give you surprises.
" Had he been here in my place would he have felt the same", she wondered.
The last she saw her mother and him was at the dining area where she saw them holding hands and making elaborate plans about their late evening stroll by the sea. She felt happy coming to Tamil Nadu for her holidays. Her brother was smartening himself up in order to flirt around with the girls on the beach.
She smiled. She wanted to punch him hard once again and run down the staircase only to hide in the store room and yell out to him to catch her. She knew now there will be no one chasing her.
Nobody returned who left for the beach that evening. All she remembered was reading a book in the hotel room and then water and finally waking up in the hospital where she continuously faded in and out of consciousness for around a week. Everything that happened next was a blurred memory.
Barely a month had passed when she received a notice from the Government that it was providing compensation to the families of people who died during the Tsunami.
She did not want a compensation. Perhaps nobody can actually compensate for the loss each survivor was suffering from. If only God could release all souls and get them back to life. If only.
She wondered if they can compensate for the mother's milk a new born is craving for, or for the tears of a newly wed girl who now is a widow or for the ailing parents who lost their kids.
The money can only fill their bank accounts and that too partially but the void inside them, would money be able to fill that as well?
She dragged herself to the kitchen and nostalgia swept over her with full force. All the delicacies that she cooked or burnt, the taste of the food that her mother made with so much love and the memories of her family enjoying dinner came in front of her eyes. She could even smell the wafting aroma of her favorite muffins in the kitchen. Within moments there were just three walls, empty cabinets and even a more empty heart.
Every nook and corner of this house had been used to their frivolous laughter and endless joys. This house had seen her grow from a diaper clad baby to a young individual. It saw her failing, falling and yet standing up again to reach heights. It saw her family's journey from poverty to extreme riches. Every beautiful memory in her heart was attached to some place in her house. It had witnessed the most spectaular moments of her life. The silence today was eating her up. The bricks were pleading her not to leave. Sadness was weighing her down. How badly she wanted to hear her mother shout at her for not eating her food on time, she missed how her father would give her secret high fives when they teamed up for some mischieve and above all she wanted to tell her brother how much of a necessary nuisance he was to her life.
"This house has always been radiating with joy and it will continue to do so", she was firm and determined.
"It will now be a home."
She lay flat on the ground of her terrace where her family enjoyed late night strolls after dinner. The starless sky was dark yet her heart felt darker. Her heart full of despair. People often told her that it was a miracle that she survived, a blessing of God. If only they knew what a curse it was to live life without those who taught her what life is.
She felt like that little duckling who had been separated from her family. Hardly had she learnt how to swim and an ocean was left to cross.
A tear slipped from her eye, and another and another. She cried for the loss of her family, for the loss of so many innocent lives, the loneliness and for the loss of a reason to live.
The sun was about to rise. She sat down and wiped her tears away. It was a new morning. The pain was no less yet the law of nature was reducing the grief. Her mind continued to be in the state of endless thoughts.
Suddenly she was struck by hope. A hope that maybe her family made it out of the disaster. Maybe they are struggling for life somewhere. How would she ever know sitting there and crying. She decided to get moving and search for them and help others to search for their families.
She decided she'll keep searching till she finds them or the purpose of her life.
Hours later she handed over the keys of the house to the owner of an orphanage.
She smiled as she said, "Please let the house be full of joy. It is not used to sadness."
