An Invaluable Lesson

"How am I looking Maa", asked Nandini holding her wedding dress in front of her.

Her mother hastily looked at her and smiled reassuring her that she looked just like a fairy. Nandini jumped with joy. The entire house was brimming with relatives and people from the neighborhood. The aunties singing wedding songs, the uncles shouting and yelling at workers to decorate the home fast, her father instructing the caterer giving special instructions, her mother attending the guests and taking care of every other details. Nandini sat between the ladies who were singing the wedding sagas. She started dancing.

Someone teased her.

"Nandini your mother-in-law wouldn't be this liberal. Now tame your childishness."

"Aunty why would she do that? I will be just like her daughter na", asked Nandini who was perplexed.

"Arre that is just for sake of saying. Mother-in-laws are your biggest rivals. They will control you and try to dominate you", added another.

"Nandini take your husband in your control or else be ready to slave them", added another lady.

"Haven't you seen that TV serial "Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi", questioned the fat aunty who was munching continuously on snacks.

They all laughed and kept teasing her leaving Nandini more uncomfortable and restless about her marriage. She started contemplating the behaviour of her future mother-in-law.

"Yes she is a little strict but I guess she was liberal with her son why would she differentiate? But what if she does? Who will support me then?"

She kept thinking. She looked at her mother who was a mute spectator t in the entire conversation. She felt a little strange because usually her mother participated in every discussion. Today her silence signified that perhaps there was something more to it.

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"Nandini are you asleep", asked her mother peeping into her room.

"No mom. Just a little anxious."

"Mind going out for a walk?"

"Mom don't you think it is too late?

"No I need to talk to you. It is your last night in this home. I guess we do need some time together. There is so much hustle bustle in the home and I want some uninterrupted time. Get up, take a shawl and come."

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The breeze outside was cool. The star lit sky lightened their path. The moon was playing hide and seek with the clouds. The occasional chirps of a cricket was breaking the silence. The leaves under their feet cracked. It was autumn. The trees appeared orangish and their leaves adorned the ground more than their stems. They kept walking for a while. She waited for her mother to speak.

"I was married at a tender age of 19. Both my parents died when I was 12. My mamaji got me married to your father. When I was going to enter your father's house I was very scared. I had heard from people that my mother- in-law was a very strict lady. All the stories I heard while growing up wherein the mothers-in-law mistreated the daughters-in-law came to my mind. My mother-in-law whom you called as your Grandmother was a very authoritative figure in the home."

"Hmmmmm", Nandini listened with rapt attention.

"My mamaji was not that rich still he managed to arrange decently for the marriage. But when I came here I had no ornaments. I was sitting in the drawing room when all the other ladies started pointing that out. They taunted me and my family. I felt so humiliated under my veil that tears began welling up in my eyes. Just then your Grandmother came with a box full of jewellery telling everyone how she forgot to give me my jewellery that my Mamaji gave her. I looked at her with questioning eyes. She pressed my hand signaling me to keep quiet. That was my first meeting with her. Those were her jewellary which she brought out to save my grace."

Her mother's voice was shaking. Still she continued.

"Later that day when I was asked to cook food by all the other relatives. I had no prior knowledge of cooking and perhaps your Grandmother sensed that. As I stood helpless in the kitchen she secretly entered the kitchen and cooked the "Kheer". I was praise by everyone and of all she came first and handed me another necklace telling everyone how lucky she was to have me. Nandini my Mamiji loved me yet for the first time I felt a mother's love. Two times in a row she helped me. I respected her but then I started to love her like she was my own mother. She was different from what people said about mothers in law. She never restricted me. She was more like a mother always telling me where I was right or wrong."

"That is really unbelievable Maa. Wish I could have been with Grandma."

"Still I knew that if she had to choose between her son and me , she would choose her son but soon even this misconception got washed away. One day your father and I had a heated argument. We were in our room and he slapped me. That slap was not just on my face but on my respect. I felt my dignity was outraged. He opened the door and walked out. Amma called him. I still remember every detail.

Flashback

"Did you hit her?"

*Silence*

"I asked you did you hit her?"

"Maa it is our argument you do not fall into it."

*Slap*

"How dare did you hit my daughter. Is this what we have taught you all our life. I feel ashamed being your mother. You have just proved that there is some fault in our upbringing. That girl left her entire family and came to yours and accepted your family. She is adjusting day and night and this is what you give her in return? If a verbal fight was going on why did you raise your hand? What did you think there is no one to defend her? Did you feel insulted when I slapped you? Similarly she felt insulted when you did the same. Put yourself in her shoes and think. She is my daughter and dare you even try to raise your hand again. Just because you are my son doesn't mean I will take your side. Go and apologize right now and by right now I mean now."

Flashback end

"What???? You mean to say Grandma slapped Dad because he slapped you", Nandini stood gaping at her mother.

"Yes Nandu. Later she did come to me and told me that as a mother it is her responsibility to stop her son from indulging into domestic violence and being the daughter of that house I should be respected. Ever since that day your father did not even raise his voice."

"Oh my God that is unbelievable. Grandma was a fearless lady indeed", chirped Nandini.

"Hmmm yes she was. When you were in my womb everyone secretly prayed for it to be a boy. All near and dear relatives blessed me to have a sweet boy and then you were born. The entire house mourned except your Grandma. She gave a big party and named you. She was very happy and told everyone that Goddess Laxmi has come. Even I felt a little dejected. But she came and consoled me telling me that it was God's desire. I loved you my daughter yet because of the social norms I felt sad and hopeless."

"Maa you were not happy with me being born", she stuck her lower lip out.

"Beta it is not like that errr....."

"Maa it is okay I understand . Please continue."

"What continue? Well even on her death bed when she got terminally ill she kept arguing with your father to allow me to do a job. She won the fight but lost to that disease. The only regret I have is not being able to give her my first salary. Every day and night I keep her in my prayers . I feel at peace when I talk to her portrait. She is my motivator even now. Somehow I feel her presence even now."

Her mother wiped her eye lashes. She broke down. Composing herself she continued.

"The reason I told you this is not because I wanted to glorify your Grandmother but because I want you to believe that mothers-in-law are also mothers. They are not villains as they show on the television. Do not fear your new home and do not have prejudices about people you know. Initially everyone has difficulties adjusting to a new place. Just remember you future mother in law is as much as a mother to you as I am. You do not need to control her or her son to earn your respect. Love that family unconditionally and they will love you back."

She hugged her daughter. Nandini felt a lump in her throat. She felt like crying yet she felt relieved because now she was happy going to her new home.

"Thank you Maa. This is one of the most invaluable lessons that you have taught me."

"Lets go back now. Everyone would be searching the bride", her mother smiled mischievously.