The Heartless Boss

“Ma’am  I’ll be requiring 15 days of leave. It is my wedding next Thursday. Here is the card. Please do come”, Maahi squealed like a frenzied teenager  handing her over a bright crimson card.

“Calm down Maahi. Congratulations! Your leave is granted but be back by the end of this leave. No extension will be given and enjoy your wedding.”  Her voice reflected the same demeanour like that of a board room meeting. No joy,  devoid of emotions and an expressionless face.

"Why can’t she ever smile and be happy? Such an old grumpy boss", Maahi went out muttering to herself.

Kritika Mahajan , Vice President, ANG Limited, the nameplate on her door was enough to make employees gasp and pray before entering her room. She personified dominance and power for those working below her. Not a single soul had seen her smiling or laughing. She was a walking timetable. Her craving for precision was equal to that of a diabetic craving sweets. She couldn’t tolerate delays even if they required working on endless shifts. Her personal life was more of a mystery to people around her. She was very secretive about her life, no Facebook profile, no Whatsapp messenger, just a plain email id kritika@ags.com. Anyone who wanted to contact her had to email her. Her mobile number was also not known to many. Earlier, people were curious, slowly their interest faded away like her youth. Nobody cared if she was single or not. She was paying them and that is all that mattered to them.

She closed her eyes and exhaled. She wondered why people got so excited about marriages. What a waste of time and money she thought it to be. Her train of thoughts had started and for once she did not want it to stop.

“Why do these girls get married so early? They study for so long and then get married and their vision gets distracted. They stop working with their full potential. Why can’t they stay independent? They all need a man to validate their existences. Men... testosterone charged species, good for nothing. Huh! So many men work under me, they don’t even know the basics. Family is such a misleading word. Everyone is selfish. There is nothing like a family. How do I care? Let them do what they want. If they under perform I’ll fire them. Such a gaudy color for a card! What is it ? A circus invite? Well nothing less than that. Ladies will be dipped in makeup looking like clowns wearing backless navel revealing sarees in this bone shivering cold, dancing like they have been administered with drugs. And the bride and the groom will stand like statues in Madame Tussads Museum passing fake smiles to the photographers calculating all the money the guests are bringing. Almost 90 percent people don’t care about who is getting married, they come for food and these idiots believe that they have come for blessing them.Ahhhh!!!! Useless customs and wastage ...."

Her alarm rang,

“Shit I have a meeting, I should revise my notes. These useless things wasted so much of my time. She dumped the card in the dustbin. The word marriage made her cringe her nose", she was happy single, she kept telling herself.

The day went by in meetings and conferences. With her head submerged deep into her files and paperwork, her life had almost turned mechanical.

She entered her home late in the evening. Turning on the lights, everything was as she left: Perfect! No dust, no socks or briefs lying anywhere, no toys.
"Ahh! How do these ladies live with their husbands and kids, they create such havoc in the homes making it look like a place that had been struck by an earthquake. I am blessed that I live alone." Her heart secretly  ached but with time she had controlled her emotions to a level that she felt only what she wanted to. She forced herself to hum and sing on her way to kitchen.

“So what shall I cook tonight? Pasta? Pizza? Ummm.... leave it I’ll have bread and milk. What to cook for one individual. I am lucky I don’t have to come back home and cook for an entire family. What a pain it would be. Keep working in office and then come home and work like a maid. I am a queen in my home.”

She loved cooking but she was tired of cooking for herself and with no one to praise her cooking. All these years she kept re-assuring herself that living a life alone was always a better option. She had reasons for everything but deep down she knew she couldn’t reason her heart so she just stopped listening to it. This heart of hers had given her enough sufferings to teach her a lesson for a lifetime.

Taking her bowl of milk , she sat in front of her TV casually flipping the channels. She preferred news channels to daily soaps because watching daily soaps felt so stupid and useless but she knew why she actually avoided them. They showed her the life of a perfect family. A family that she wanted to have once. They made her uncomfortable so she chose to show everyone that she found them utter gross because she did not want people to know that yes at times she felt incomplete and lonely with no one to share her perfect life with. Every time this thought occurred to her and she would shrug it off like a bad memory.

“ I don’t need anyone, I am self sufficient. I am good with no tension or stress. I have chosen this life. It is not imposed on me. I can get any man I want. It is just that I don’t like all this family and commitment thing”, she always told her colleagues the same lines whenever they advised her to settle down .

She knew in her heart that it was a sheer lie. She could get any man but the one want she wanted to be with, left her. He left her alone when they both planned to elope. He left without telling her, he gave no reasons, no excuses, not even a chance so that she could get angry. That day was a memory she never want to be nostalgic about yet it haunted her every day and night. She had a happy family once which she chose to leave only for him. She knew she had put everything on stake but at that moment nothing mattered. She wanted many kids, a perfect happy family, her niche. All her dreams came crashing down that very day. She questioned herself, she could not figure out what did she lack, where did she go wrong, why did he leave, and yet she never got her answers.

She did not want to be heartless but then the struggle beyond that day made her so. It took just one man to change the way she was. And now she  was afraid to give another man the chance to change her. Change was inevitable but till date she had done her best to avoid it. There were times when she wanted to be comforted but she chose to keep mum. She accustomed herself to live alone.

She avoided pain by not investing in someone but she did not know the pain was within her! Slaying her yet driving her!